Fulfilling Marital Duties : Part III

I Corinthians 7:17-24

"Fulfilling Marital Duties : Part III"

Sermon by

Mark A. Horne

I have often wondered what it takes for a couple to be married for a long time. When I say a long time I mean a long time like 40 years or more. Some of you may have asked that same question. Some of you know, because you have stayed married for that long, or you are very close. What does it take? Hard work? Love? Constantly reminding yourself that this is the person that God has given me to be with the rest of my life? Maybe the vow has kept you with that special someone, since you are loyal and you are not one to break vows.

This morning, our passage gives us another reason why we should stay married to the one we are with. That reason is this: each one of us should stay married because God has placed you in the situation you are in so that you can bring honor and glory to Him by keeping the covenant relationship that He has ordained as a representation of what Christ is to the Church.

Paul tells his church in Corinth this, and I think we can gain three points from our passage:

1) We are called to be in the state we are in by God's own choosing.

2) Whatever state we are in, we are to be at Christ's command, no matter what.

3) We must remember that God's favor is not bound.

We are called to be in the state we are in by God's own choosing.

A Shoebox Greeting Card reads:

If you love something, set it free

If it returns, you haven't lost it

If it disappears and never comes back,

Then it wasn't truly yours to begin with.

And if it just sits there watching television,

Unaware that it has been set free,

You probably already married it.

If you are skimming over our passage this morning, you may be asking, what specifically does it have to do with marriage? In fact, it seems to be talking about everything but being married. On the surface, you are right. But I need to suggest to you this morning that everything this passage is talking about has to do with marriage and very little to do with the obvious issues. I believe Paul is using these things as examples for marriage. What seems to be a discussion about circumcision and slavery is actually an exhortation for the most important duty we have as a husband and wife, that is to bring honor and glory to God.

If our passage this morning was at the end of a chapter, or even the beginning of a chapter, I would say that Paul is not talking about being married. However, when you read on you will see that the rest of this chapter continues to discuss marital duties. I don't think Paul would break his thought process about marriage to throw a few statements like these in then continue talking about marriage again. But what I do suggest to you this morning is Paul wanted his readers to have a clear understanding where they stood with God on such a vital issue, and I think we should make sure we have a clear understanding as well. And I believe that understanding begins with verse 17 (read).

I believe what Paul is doing here is actually referring back to verse 15. Verse 15 deals with what one should do if an unbelieving spouse leaves. What does Paul say - let them go - as long as you follow God's will and stay committed to that person, then let them go and live in peace. Verse 17 reemphasizes the flip side of the coin, though. If the unbeliever does not leave and wants to stay married, then it is God's command to you that you stay with that person. Paul is saying that each one should walk according to the grace that has been given to him or her. Even the external grace that seems so bleak and grungy compared to our Spiritual grace. That is the calling of the Christian. The person you are married to is a gift from God. This is what we labor for. This is what we should endeavor to do. We should get excited about the duty of loving Christ so much that we will uphold the covenant institution of marriage. We should be ministers of grace to our spouse and if they are an unbeliever, hope and pray for their salvation.

What Paul is teaching here is nothing new. Not only did he teach it to the Corinthians, but he also taught this same message in every church he came into contact with. We should be committed to teach the same kind of message. Though times are hard and we are getting beaten with the grueling providence called life, our spouse doesn't seem supportive and doesn't understand what we are feeling, we can't make ends meet and we are scared to tell him or her about the upcoming week, Jesus knows about all of that and he cares about them, too. He understands what you are going through. He has taken a beaten, (literally), by me and you. He was scared to go to that cross, so scared that he sweat blood over it. Yet he remained faithful to His bride, the bride called the Church. The bride that you and I are members of because we were called to the lot in life we have.

And no matter what state we are in, in our life we are to be at Christ's command. Paul goes on in verses 18 through 23 to give examples of some situations one could be in as he or she walks with Christ. Yet, all confirms what he has said concerning marriage. For Christ, it makes no difference whether we are a Gentile or Jew. He loves us and cares for us just the same. Though Jews gloried in whether one was circumcised or not, it did not matter to Christ. What is true in the covenant of God and His commandment is that circumcision does not matter. We have been called by Him. What matters now is that our old self is buried. We are new creatures and should live as such. We should devote ourselves to the duties that have been set before us as Christians. These are the things that are well pleasing to God. When we do this we are ministering to our spouse. Maybe even to our friends and coworkers.

Paul goes on to say in verse 20 that each person should remain in the situation God has placed him or her. Does this mean that if someone is flipping burgers at Wendy's they have to do that their whole life? Christians should never aspire to be better than what they are? Of course not! What Paul is saying is that people should not change the way they live without good reason. One should not continue wearing the same pair of underwear because they were the ones that they hit a hole in one with, or shot the biggest buck with. Talk about making your spouse unhappy! What Paul is referring to here is contentment with the graces that have been given.

William Blake writes in his Poem "My Pretty Rose Tree"

A flower was offered to me;

Such a flower as May never bore.

But I said I've a Pretty Rose-tree,

And I passed the sweet flower o'er.

Then I went to my Pretty Rose-tree;

To tend her by day and by night.

But my rose turned away with jealousy:

And her thorns were only my delight.

Blake's poem illustrates what Paul is saying here. Each one needs to bear in mind to what is suitable to our calling. Paul does not impose upon us the situation of life we are in, but he does condemn restlessness. Each person should remain at peace with who or what has been given to them. If one is a Christian and thinks he should not live as a servant to anyone, especially a spouse, then they have sadly mistaken their calling as Child of Christ and as a spouse. For Christ was more than a servant, wasn't he? And he is more than a groom isn't he? Whether we are free or slaves, it doesn't matter. We are slaves to Christ. And as slaves to Christ we need continue in our course as servants to those we are bound to by Him. Our liberty is our service to Him. As verse 23 states: We have been chosen out of the rank of servants, and made to be a partaker with the grace of Christ. We have been bought with a price. We have been redeemed. Therefore, we need to take care and not place ourselves into situations that will lead to wickedness and hurting our spouse.

III

And because we have been redeemed, we must remember that God's favor is not bound. Verse 24 states that each person has a responsibility to God. And in fulfilling that responsibility, there is a natural overflow of fulfilling what is expected by God to our spouse.

Oswald Chambers asks this question:

Has it ever dawned on you that you are responsible for other souls spiritually before God? For instance, if I allow any private deflection from God in my life, everyone about me suffers. (As it is written), "We sit together in heavenly places." And "Whether one member suffers, all the members suffers with it." Once you allow physical selfishness, mental slovenliness, moral obtuseness, or spiritual density, to be important in your life then everyone belonging to your crowd will suffer.

All of us must realize our responsibility to our spouses, but especially the men. As head of the households, men, we should spend every ounce of nervous energy, of mental energy, of moral and spiritual energy for Jesus. At the least it should be our way to say "thank you" to Jesus for being our redeemer. We imitate Christ for our wife and then to the children.

Then repeating verse 17, we are to remain in the situation God has called us to. And we can do this well when we abide with Christ as our Lord and Savior. The presence and favor of God is not bound by any outward sign, or status we have. Those who are bound are in God's favor, as well as those who are not.

Marriage is a calling. When one becomes a Christian, that does not externally or physically annul what he or she was before they came to Christ. Jews are still Jews, Paul says. Slaves are still slaves, and married people are still married people. But now with the Lord's help, we can fulfill each calling in a greater way.

Let Us Pray: Dear Jesus, I pray today that you will work a mighty work in those of us who are in covenant relationship with a spouse. I pray Lord that we will remember that we have been called in this state by you. I pray that you will help us as we carry out your commands in our life. Finally, I pray dear Jesus that your favor will rest upon us as we live as servants to each other in our marriage and especially in our life. For it is in your Holy and Most Precious name, Ame